WHY SILENCE?

 

 

Photo: Saint Teresa's Motherhouse 

"Then the Lord passed by and sent a furious wind that split the hills and shattered the rocks, but the Lord was not in the wind. the wind stopped blowing and then there was an earthquake. After the earthquake there was a fire. The Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire there was the soft whisper of a voice. When Elijah heard it, he covered his face with his cloak and went out and stood at the entrance of the cave."- Kings 19:11-13

For centuries this passage in the Scripture has been influential in the Carmelite attitude on silence and solitude. In time, I have understood personally the meaning of silence and solitude in this context. For me, silence is not just a momentary break in the routine of the day to seek a quiet place to rest and pray. For me, it is a way of life. It is the habitual inclination of the soul to attend to the presence of God and to listen intently to what he has to say at every moment. Silence is an atmosphere where one is given the time to know one's self- its strengths, limitations and fears. And it is also the time when God dispenses his grace to make the soul grow.

There are the active and passive elements of silence. The active part is the continuous discernment of the will of God in our lives through the use of our own resources and faculties. Silence is a good medium for that. Then there is the passive element of receiving from God all that he wishes to reveal to us. Silence is necessary for that. 

Silence should be both external and internal. Each is complementary of the other. There can be no internal silence unless there be also an external one. We are both body and spirit. Our internal senses receive their stimulation from the external activities via our senses. External silence, on the other hand, should be animated by internal recollection, otherwise, it will merely be a form of social isolation and self-preoccupation.

Silence is so necessary in religious life because our sole aim is God. Our lives are consecrated so as to make God our only goal in life. If this not our intent then we have wasted our earthly life. God comes to us in many "disguises." If we are not "sober and alert" we will miss many of the ways and forms in which he comes to us. Silence unifies our strength. A religious, or anyone,  who does not seek silence scatters their energy and make themselves vulnerable to the assaults of the world. Silence is also is a must in religious life because we aspire to model ourselves on Mary, "the woman wrapped in silence." She is the best example of authentic religious life lived out in silence.

The Mystery of His Love

I am one of those people grateful for the gift of this video! A religious vocation is ultimately all about God- His initiative- of calling a soul to share in the mystery of a love that challenges and transcends.  One is asked to participate in the sense of giving one's will and uniting it with God's.  Like Mary, at her Annunciation, God asks the question and Mary answered, "let it be done to me according to your word."  To be called by God is not so much a matter of doing great things for Him.  To be called by God is to allow great things to be done in me.  It is a mystery because it cannot be explained in human words- not even by the one who is called.  In the final analysis, a religious vocation is not just about doing good- great- works.  One does not have to enter religious life for that.  It is not even of saving one's soul- because religious life is not a requirement for salvation.  So why did God call me and not someone else with more gifts and talents to give, and more virtues to boast of?  The answer for me can be found in the Gospel of Saint Mark 3:13, "And He went up on the mountain and summoned those whom He Himself wanted, and they came to Him."

Thank you, Jesus, for wanting me to serve You and to be with You in this holy vocation.  Make me worthy of Your great gift of Love!

Weapons of Choice

It is beyond any doubt that the world is on fire.  It didn't happen suddenly but in a very gradual progression of eroding moral standards, corruption of moral and religious beliefs, unrest, dissolution and redefinition of marriage and family.  Why are we so surprise to see violence in our streets?  Why are we so surprise to witness ideologies enacted in public squares and public forums?  Why are we so surprise to see mere infants turned to monsters and sociopaths?  It seems that remedies we have thought of were not sufficient enough.  It seems that the tough and violent approach breed more violence and deadly results.  I agree that laws should, must be in place, and for sure, laws must be implemented for the good of society.  But are we missing the real root cause of all these?  The power of darkness, the Prince of darkness and chaos, has broken free.  "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." (1Peter 5:8).  Identifying the cause and making the right diagnosis are two foundational stones in the healing ministry.  By doing so one can apply the proper remedy. "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places." (Ephesians 6:12).

If this is so then we must decide for ourselves what weapon of choice we must employ. We have the teachings of Our Lord and the Word of God.  We have the Sacraments of the Church, examples of the Saints, fasts, sacrifices, and that great weapon of prayer that rises like a burning incense before the throne of God.  We have so much treasures to draw from.  But do we truly and firmly believe that the prayer of a just man is powerful indeed?

A Test of Faith

A horrible bomb attack was carried out today during the Boston marathon event.  The photos are tragic.  Blood splattered everywhere with reported fatalities and maimed victims.  Because this is a developing story, facts are few and unfolding.  I feel the same downcast feeling I felt in September of 2001. Not again, I prayed.

I went to Chapel tonight to say a few prayers for the victims and families.  I sat and thought in silence, "Evil has triumphed again."  I am not ashamed to say that I had asked God, as many people are asking, how can one keep up faith amidst an unrelenting display and seeming triumph of evil in this world?  How can you console the families of those who died? What can you say to them?  How will one comfort someone who lost a limb or is severely disfigured? What answer can one give when confronted by an evil such as this?  Is it enough to remind them that there is a God?  Would it be enough to assure them of a crown waiting for those who endure?  Is it enough to rally them to hope in justice and believe that we will apprehend those who did this terrible crime?

I don't hold any answer.  Religious life does not equip me with the right answers, nor does it give me immunity from asking questions.  But I know this- that God exists, that He loves us, that he cares for us and is not oblivious to what is happening in the world.  I know that He is at work even in chaos and darkness.  Scriptures are full of terrible and sad events- wars, murders, oppression, sins of every kind- and still the goodness and mercy of God were interwoven in the fabric of those very same tragedies.  The Crucifixion of Christ was a horrible event and Jesus died a most painful death, and yet, His death was the most beautiful expression of love and God's triumph over sin and death.

A Christian is not guaranteed answers.  A Christian is called to believe even in darkness and mystery.  A Christian is called to Faith in action, a living Faith that struggles to penetrate the dark, black clouds of darkness, doubts and deeply held questions.  A Christian is called to Hope- that difficult attitude and posture of looking at the silver lining in everything- to have the assurance of things to be.  A Christian is called to Love- to forgive and not just forget.  It is an awesome calling.  But hard as it may be to live up to the challenge, we have no choice.  We say with St. Peter, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You  have the words of eternal life." (John 6:68)

This Is America

There is public outcry going on regarding the gruesome murders of late term babies by Dr. Kermit Gosnell in an abortion mill in Philadelphia.  I have seen some photos and I was so repulsed.  The cavalier way in which this supposed "doctor" described one baby's reaction just before he was killed was even a hundred times more repulsive!  How can it be possible that a conscience could be as dead as his?  How can such an act be justified by anyone, whether you describe yourself as a pro-life or pro-choice person?  It is pure evil. 

It is truly sad to witness acts as these in a nation claiming itself to be civilized and advanced.  We criticize terrorism in the strongest sense, and rightly so, but many in this country justify and close their eyes to the evils such as these in the name of freedom and rights.  What have we become?  Our country is hemorrhaging from the rupture of its moral fiber and all we have been doing so far is engage in unending debates by multiple groups and people!  We argue and take turns in giving and receiving rounds of opinions  but never seem to come any closer to any agreement, moral or otherwise.  I understand that issues are debated in a democratic society, but if all we do is debate, and people don't wake up, there will be no America left!  Just like the great civilizations before us- we will self- destruct because we failed to see our moment of redemption and failed to realize that our greatness comes from our common belief in the good, noble, beautiful and just.

So what do I want to see happen?  I want people to see that our personal and national values are headed towards the wrong direction.  I want to see more collaboration towards the common good instead of angry, divisive rhetoric which make enemies out of people.  I want to see less government and more accountability on the part of leaders and citizens.  I want conversion to happen in people's hearts- a national realization that we are not made great by scientific. economic and military superiority but more so by a humble submission to a Power higher than ourselves.  I want to see respect to come alive again- respecting the dignity of each person from the moment of conception to natural death.  Someone might say- you must be dreaming! This is America!  We are made up of different people, with different beliefs and views, different cultures and faiths.
They might be right- I must be dreaming and naive- but I know that at one time, in not too distant past, there was once that America.  This nation was created by diversities but  was never so divided as it is now.  There must be something we can do as a people.  It is precisely because THIS IS America that the dream is still alive! 

New Pope Inspires New Hope

 

Every Catholic  should hold a reverential regard for the Pope as the Vicar of Christ on earth.  The Papacy is one of the greatest gifts Jesus left His Church.  I am not blind to the scandals and would not deny the fact that the papacy, and many of its occupants, had not always lived up to its higher calling of integrity and service.  One need only read the pages of Church history.  Although I miss Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, with his profound love of the truth, his gentle and humble witness, I am slowly warming up to Pope Francis.  His lack of liturgical appreciation disturbs me sometimes since I share Benedict"s view that liturgy is an act of worship and we are part of that great assembly of the faithful who enter into the great mystery and awesomeness of the transcendent.  I also share Benedict's strong stand that we cannot arbitrarily enhance or detract from liturgy, to suit our own liking. But I read a Vatican commentator say one time that Pope Francis is a Jesuit and Jesuits are not known for their liturgical sense.  

Pope Francis is certainly a breath of fresh air to a Church who has been suffering from the staleness of Vatican bureaucracy and rigid policies.  He has successfully, so far, drawn many of the faithful to look at the Gospel values with  new eyes and to convince many that the path to God need not be so complicated, cerebral,  and hopeless.  His simplicity, spontaneity, and great personal witness to love of neighbor and preferential love of the poor, touch the core of every man and woman's search for authentic Gospel living.  The many news articles of conversions through Confessions, and large Papal audiences, bear witness to this "springtime" in our Church.  In his short time as Pope, he has borne fruits, attesting to the vigor and strength of the tree. "By their fruits, you shall know them." (Matthew 7:16) Please God, let our new Pope bring ever closer those who have been away from the source of all their good- to Jesus Our Lord through His Church, the Bride of Christ.

A Dangerous Idea

When Melissa Harris-Perry made a remark that "children do not belong to their parents", she was making a controversial remark that in some sense is true.  When she stated that children belong to the community, she was also controversial in the sense that she was implying children to be objects to be claimed for a utilitarian purpose of advancing the cause of 'community."  Depending on where you're coming from in your arguments, these statements can mean different things to different people.

When I hear this statement of "children do not belong to their parents", I can conditionally agree in the sense that no one is the property of any one.  Parents are ultimately only stewards.  In God's plan for marriage, a man and woman are bound together to effect transmission of life, of bring children to the world.  The primary task of raising children according to God's plan falls on the parents and in that sense their children belong to them.  It is the parents sacred duty, and right, to care for their children in all its fullness, so that they can grow to be fully human and develop into a productive member of society.  But productivity in society  is not the ultimate goal.  A child born with deficiencies and handicaps is still worthy of love, care and attention, as well as deserving all personal rights, for the simple reason that he or she belongs to God and has his/her inherent dignity.  Parents, in this sense, do not "own" the child because they are  not in a position to judge or determine whether the child deserves acceptance or rejection.  Human life belongs to God alone.  When the child grows up and enters the age of reason, he or she should be allowed to develop his/her potentials according to the gifts endowed them by God.  When it comes time for their child to choose his/her own path and vocation in life, parents should be open to assume the role of guides instead of trying to act as dictators and tyrants to their own children. How many times have we witnessed the sad reality of parents living their own dreams through their children and taking over their future and lives because parents often feel a sense of "ownership" of their children? ("We know what's good for you.")

If parents do not have the absolute "ownership" of their children, neither does community.  The community exists because people of good will come together to do service for another.  A community is not a "collection of people" but individual persons of individual rights and gifts, who choose to exercise and share what they have to effect a good. That is how a society is formed. It is a Christian hallmark to serve others according to the gifts and talents we possess.  It is part of being a Christian to donate something of ourselves to others.  It is in this "self donation" that we find joy and happiness in life.  So in a sense, whether we like it or not, we and our children, belong to a community. But in belonging to a community, we do not forfeit our rights and individual freedoms.  These rights and freedoms are not absolute, however, since they should be in harmony with higher moral standards necessary to preserve society.

I find fault with the idea of removing  parents' natural and God-given rights and giving them to another, or worse yet, giving them to an institution or government. The idea of government over reaching to the private and personal domains of people is frightening.  The implication of children being "possessions" and subject to ownership is degrading.  This is an abuse of secular and political power, a subtle move to attack parental rights and destroy family life, and a dangerous step towards defining who's "productive" to community or not.  

The Power of Forgiveness

I went to see the movie, "October Baby", with Dad on my day-off.  It was a four o'clock showtime and there were only five people including ourselves in the theater.  I have heard so much about this movie that I was so looking forward to seeing it.  And I was not disappointed.  The story centers on a young woman, Hannah, who was born prematurely after a failed abortion.  She was adopted by a loving couple who decided early on to keep the circumstances of Hannah's birth secret.  Hannah was always a sickly girl, and even nineteen years later, she continued to suffer from multiple medical illnesses.  The movie opened with a dramatic scene of Hannah having a seizure attack while delivering her part in a stage play.  Her hospitalization was the key which opened the secret that was kept from her by her adoptive parents as the doctor tried to connect the dots of her multiple ailments and the failed abortion.  The rest of the story takes the audience to the emotional web of Hannah's search for her biological mother, and the friends who helped her in her search.  The story ended with Hannah's face to face encounter with her real mother, Cindy Hastings, now a prominent  lawyer with a family of her own.  Sadly, the encounter did not end up in a reunion.


The movie was definitely an emotional  powerhouse!  I should have heeded my friends advice to bring a box of kleenex! Fortunately I had my popcorn napkins and they served the purpose!  But the screenplay was far from just being sentimental or a tearjerker.  It weaves for us the real pain and anguish real people go through given the circumstances.  It is well documented from different studies that abortion victimizes not just the unborn baby, but everyone else intimately connected with it.  But the movie, although primarily about the damage abortion does to people's lives, had layers of truths to it.   Weaved into the storyline were the many relationships played out and the moral values they represented.  First, the relationship between Hannah and her adoptive parents.  It was moving to see how love made a difference.  They loved her as much as any biological parents could love a child.   It puts into practice the words of the prophet Isaiah,"Can a mother forget her baby, or a mother the child within her womb. Yet, even if they forget, I will never forget my own."  Adoption is better than abortion.  There is a place for everyone in this world if only someone tries enough to care.  Then, there is the relationship between Hannah and her childhood friend, Jason.  It was interesting how a movie could be produced without the sex factor to lure people, and still convey a sweetness and strength of love which was defined by respect for each other, fidelity and loyalty.  True love transcends the physical.  True love is more than sex.  True love waits.  Then, there was the relationship of nurse to her patients.  Another climax to the story was when Hannah actually met the nurse who assisted in the failed abortion.  In the course of the nurse re-telling the story, she remembered how she felt that she was the only friend that these women seeking abortion had.  She remembered how afraid and confused they were.  She remembered how they were looking for someone to trust, someone to hold their hand.  It was a powerful testament for me as a Nurse of how much difference we can make.  It is also an invitation for all of us not to cast a stone.  The woman loses not only the child but herself as well.

In the end, it was the power of forgiveness that set Hannah free.  It was forgiveness that set her biological mother free from the guilt she carried all those years.  It was forgiveness that set the adoptive parents free from the secret they hid from Hannah all those years.  And in the final analysis, it was forgiveness that set Hannah free.  Forgiveness heals.

During this Holy Week, we are reminded again that we are a people forgiven and redeemed.  The sacrifice and death of Jesus obtained for us the mercy we so badly need.  "For by His wounds, we are healed."

Which Prolifer Are You?

photo: Lifenews.com

Just below was an article I posted a couple of years ago on 4marks, a social networking site for Catholics.  It generated long (and some angry) discussions.  Some thought that I was critical of people's motives and they replied justifying their reasons for joining the cause.  Some were grateful because they felt the article led them to examine their consciences and their motives and came out of the process stronger and more focused.  My intention was simple and non-malicious.  I merely wanted to pose questions inspired by comments I hear everyday from people on both sides of the aisle. I don't exclude myself from this examination.  Like some people, my motives for doing the things I do, are not always pure.  I do want to quickly say that it would be naive and misleading to say that we only act when we're sure our motives are pure.  That would be paralyzing!  We are fallen creatures and we often don't start off right. I remember an incident in St. Teresa of Avila's autobiography where she stated the reason for her entering the convent.  It wasn't because she loved God enough to turn her back on the world, but it was because she feared going to hell!  It wasn't such a bad motive but she was motivated more by fear than by love, and Teresa herself was her own greatest  critic.  And as in any Christian spirituality, the heart of the Carmelite spirituality is love, and St. Teresa was a true daughter of Carmel,  and she would look upon this desire as imperfect.  But look what God did with her imperfect desire?  It was purified and now she's a Doctor of the Church and a Teacher on prayer par excellence.  And so it is with us.  It doesn't hurt us either to once in a while engage in self-examination so that we would grow spiritually and be more effective ambassadors for the cause of such importance.

"The Cause for Life is a noble and godly cause. It is a crusade against the power of darkness and the shadow of death. I admire people who are so committed to the Cause of life. Their commitment takes them to places they probably did not dream of going and met people they did not dream meeting or did things they never dreamed doing. For many, it has become the main purpose of their existence, a vocation, and reason for being here on earth. But how do you separate the wheat from the chaff? The sheep from goats? When does the Prolife Movement become for some,  just another wagon to jump into, just another cause to rally, just another issue to scream about? Some people may just be there because they enjoy the fight and confrontations? Are they naturally argumentative and opinionated that the pro-life debates are just another way of exercising their war muscles? Or is a deeper motivation really present, a pure, unadulterated desire to correct the wrong done, promote justice for all and reclaim the right that belongs solely to God?  

I guess some would argue that the message is far more important than the messenger.  I agree.  But I also remember the words of Jesus: "What does it profit a man if he wins the world but loses his soul?"  What does it profit us if we lose our peace, our own integrity and decency, our focus and civility, our Christian hope and Christian understanding , for our noble cause?  What does it profit us to act in a manner not worthy of the name Christian?  

Jesus said to his disciples:
“You have heard that it was said,
You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.
But I say to you, love your enemies,
and pray for those who persecute you,
that you may be children of your heavenly Father,
for he makes his sun rise on the bad and the good,
and causes rain to fall on the just and the unjust.
For if you love those who love you, what recompense will you have?
Do not the tax collectors do the same?
And if you greet your brothers and sisters only,
what is unusual about that?
Do not the pagans do the same? So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect.” 



It is no longer "do to others as you would want it done to you.." No, it is now "love others as I have loved you."  We are no longer the standard of behavior.  It is now Jesus.  His standard should now govern our behavior, if we want to be called his disciples.  Tall order.  But it must be possible.  Difficult but it must not be impossible.  For what kind of a God will command something impossible? What kind of a God will set us up for failure?  God does not command the impossible.  It all depends on one's definition of "love."  Love is not an emotion (spiritual love that is).  Love is an act of the will.  I can love someone I do not particularly like without the effervescence of emotion. It happens in Community life.  Not all Sisters are likable.  Some just have the knack to jar my nerves without trying hard.  But I try to rise above emotions and see in her the special person God loves.  Difficult, yes.  Challenging, definitely.  Impossible, no.