A Vocation Dilemma

I have a question, I want well wanted to be ordained a Catholic Priest for two reasons well three one there are not enough priests two I want to serve God by working in a parish three I want that mark on my soul. I don't wnat to be in a religious order ( I'm way way to extroverted) and I don't feel the call to anything else. I don't feel called to the laity except for maybe being an organist. There are three areas where we need people in the church, Priests Nuns and organists. I feel guilty that I don't want to take the vow of poverty, scale down my collections most certainly but absolute poverty no thanks. I have a question what advice can you give me? my discernment is really a laughing stock and I am at whit's end, I am not married and don't see any prospects in that direction anytime soon, My wanting to be a priest is not enough to become one and may be the wrong reason for going after being a priest and I don't want to be a Brother nor a Deacon. I think I have the wrong attitude as all or nothing at all. If I became a Deacon I couldn't get married so with that may as well go all the way and be a priest. I am sure that is wrong, and Deacons are wonderful and we have one that celebrates a Eucharistic service I thank God for him. I don't want to be a Brother either. Could my attitude of what "I" want be holding my discernment back? I am so confused so out of sorts that I am scared as to what my future holds. I don't know if you ever done this or seen it done, but take a laser pointer and have a cat chase it,, it is the funniest thing you ever seen. The cat goes nuts over the red dot and chases it and can make him spin and chase it up the walls and everywhere, That is how I think God treats me sometimes, Just gets a blast at watching me chase my tail at that red dot. I am almost 40 single and worried I will be alone the rest of my life and not amount to anything but a bag of dreams never attained and sitting alone asking what if or if only. Need advice. God bless.

Hmm.. It is a great dilemma. I'm sure those more qualified than I am will contribute later but just want to share my thoughts on this.

1. ) A spiritual director can be a great help to help you put things in perspective. Discernment can be very confusing by oneself because we can get caught up in our own questions and answers. Start with your parish priest.

2.) I don't think I agree with your reason for considering being a Priest. Priesthood, any religious vocation for that matter, is not just trying to fill a void in the Church. It is not a job or position to be filled in. It is not a career either. It is first of all a particular calling to serve in a particular way. There has to be a call from God first, then we respond. "You did not choose Me, I chose you" says Jesus. After considering if you have the vocation to Priesthood, you would then have to consider heavily if God is calling you to the diocesan priesthood or priesthood in a religious Order.

3.) When one embraces Religious life, one embraces the three evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity and obedience. Some Congregations have a fourth vow of hospitality or stability for examples. The practice of the vows differ among religious orders. For example, Carmelites' poverty is different from a Franciscans practice of poverty, and so forth. These differences are spelled out in the Congregation's Constitutions. If you don't think you are willing to be under any one of these vows, maybe that is an indication that you are not called to the religious life.

4.) You are right in suggesting that one's attitude plays a huge and important part in religious vocation. The first virtue necessary for a fruitful discernment is an attitude of openness and willingness to be led. This can be frightening because we are used to being in control of our lives. If you really want to know, open your mind and your heart to all possibilities. Setting limits and parameters will only make you more frustrated and confused.

I will keep you in prayers and hope you find the path God wants you to take. Try to be at peace with the certainty that you were created for a purpose and that you are here for a definite reason. Love God now in the state Providence has placed you, frequent the Sacraments as much as you can, and give yourself in service to others wherever you find yourself. We are all called to do these things. 

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