Solitude Retreat

I was blessed enough to be given permission to spend my retreat this year away from the Motherhouse.  I consider it a great grace.  I decided to spend a week in a place called Bethlehem Hermitage in Chester, NJ.  It's a perfect place for what I was looking for even though my original choice was the Hermits of Carmel hermitage right next to Bethlehem.  The Carmelites do not offer retreats since they have no available hermitages.  Preached and Directed retreats are fine but they can get me distracted.

God is in the solitude and He speaks in silence and in silence He must be heard.  St. Teresa used to say that prayer is being with a friend, and in this particular case, a Friend who loves us so as to desire to lead us into the desert as the prophet Hosea says: "I will allure her into the desert and speak to her heart."  In a nutshell that was my experience.  But along with the holy, I also experienced the silly.  Without ruining the spiritual nature of the retreat, I will share with you some laughable moments which I should be ashamed to recount but I will nonetheless!
What can I tell you about my seven days in the desert?  All the time it made me think and reflect of the early hermits on Mount Carmel in Palestine over 800 years ago.  For this was exactly the type of life they led.  The early Carmelites were eremitical; they spent most of their time in prayer and meditation in their caves and met only for the Sacrifice of the Mass.  My experience gave me a renewed love of our Holy Order of Carmel.
Since God did not call me to a life of absolute withdrawal from the world and silence but to a life of ministry to our beloved elderly, I am at least grateful that He had shown me a "wadi" where I could refresh myself like our Holy Father St. Elijah in Mount Horeb. (1 Kings 19:1-7).  Before I proceed with the delights of silence and solitude, let me share with you the silly reactions I had which you might find amusing.  On my first three days in my hermitage, my imagination was on full gear.  The hermitage, situated in the middle of the woods, made me feel like a frontier woman.  I looked out the forest trees and I imagined savage Mohawks peeking out of the bushes!  I also imagined having a starving bear at my doorstep at night while I was asleep.  Or find the sorts of creatures you'd find in the forest like snakes, salamanders, spiders, etc possibly finding entrance into my little cottage in the dark of night.  Or worse yet, could it happen that an escaped prisoner might just have been hiding in this particular Chester forest and would notice my light in the dark of night?  Aside from earnest prayers rising up to heaven, I also took refuge in the Tylenol-PM tablets to lull me to sleep so I could be oblivious to what was happening around me!  When I read the passage in the Gospel of St. Mark about Jesus in the desert with the wild beasts, I thought of the creatures of my imagination as my wild beasts!  But I'm happy to report that after the third night I slept like a babe with no worry about anything.  I was then able to open myself more to the still small voice within and around me.
The Scriptures were my constant companion.  Retreatants were not allowed to bring any other book even spiritual ones.  I read mostly the commentaries on the Book of Kings from Jerusalem Bible and it became my spiritual meat.  The readings reminded me that of the many Kings Israel had, only three really found favor in God's eyes: David, Hezekiah and Josiah.  It reminded me that even if there are only two people who love God and obey His commandments, these two can make a difference.  It's a lesson to our day.  The Parallel Gospels were also another source of spiritual insights.  The time alone with my Spouse in the quiet was precious as He reminded me once again the meaning of my consecration to Him.  The liturgy as celebrated by the hermits was another pearl.  The slow rhythm of reciting the Office, the 20 minutes contemplative prayer after Holy Communion (to replace the homily) and the daily Hourly Eucharistic Adoration, were all means of finding God again.  It's funny I just said that.  Solitude retreat is really not about us finding God, but God finding us!  In the busy schedule of our lives we somehow "get lost."  St. John of the Cross said: "If a soul is looking for God, the more God is looking for the soul."  There is so much more to share but this will suffice for now.  The secrets of the King is better enjoyed in the silence of one's heart.
Enjoy some of the photos!

(Article also found on "Just For Today" blog.

Bethlehem Retreat

I was blessed enough to be given permission to spend my retreat this year away from the Motherhouse.  I consider it a great grace.  I decided to spend a week in a place called Bethlehem Hermitage in Chester, NJ.  It's a perfect place for what I was looking for even though my original choice was the Hermits of Carmel hermitage right next to Bethlehem.  The Carmelites do not offer retreats since they have no available hermitages.  Preached and Directed retreats are fine but they can get me distracted.

God is in the solitude and He speaks in silence and in silence He must be heard.  St. Teresa used to say that prayer is being with a friend, and in this particular case, a Friend who loves us so as to desire to lead us into the desert as the prophet Hosea says: "I will allure her into the desert and speak to her heart."  In a nutshell that was my experience.  But along with the holy, I also experienced the silly.  Without ruining the spiritual nature of the retreat, I will share with you some laughable moments which I should be ashamed to recount but I will nonetheless!
What can I tell you about my seven days in the desert?  All the time it made me think and reflect of the early hermits on Mount Carmel in Palestine over 800 years ago.  For this was exactly the type of life they led.  The early Carmelites were eremitical; they spent most of their time in prayer and meditation in their caves and met only for the Sacrifice of the Mass.  My experience gave me a renewed love of our Holy Order of Carmel.
Since God did not call me to a life of absolute withdrawal from the world and silence but to a life of ministry to our beloved elderly, I am at least grateful that He had shown me a "wadi" where I could refresh myself like our Holy Father St. Elijah in Mount Horeb. (1 Kings 19:1-7).  Before I proceed with the delights of silence and solitude, let me share with you the silly reactions I had which you might find amusing.  On my first three days in my hermitage, my imagination was on full gear.  The hermitage, situated in the middle of the woods, made me feel like a frontier woman.  I looked out the forest trees and I imagined savage Mohawks peeking out of the bushes!  I also imagined having a starving bear at my doorstep at night while I was asleep.  Or find the sorts of creatures you'd find in the forest like snakes, salamanders, spiders, etc possibly finding entrance into my little cottage in the dark of night.  Or worse yet, could it happen that an escaped prisoner might just have been hiding in this particular Chester forest and would notice my light in the dark of night?  Aside from earnest prayers rising up to heaven, I also took refuge in the Tylenol-PM tablets to lull me to sleep so I could be oblivious to what was happening around me!  When I read the passage in the Gospel of St. Mark about Jesus in the desert with the wild beasts, I thought of the creatures of my imagination as my wild beasts!  But I'm happy to report that after the third night I slept like a babe with no worry about anything.  I was then able to open myself more to the still small voice within and around me.
The Scriptures were my constant companion.  Retreatants were not allowed to bring any other book even spiritual ones.  I read mostly the commentaries on the Book of Kings from Jerusalem Bible and it became my spiritual meat.  The readings reminded me that of the many Kings Israel had, only three really found favor in God's eyes: David, Hezekiah and Josiah.  It reminded me that even if there are only two people who love God and obey His commandments, these two can make a difference.  It's a lesson to our day.  The Parallel Gospels were also another source of spiritual insights.  The time alone with my Spouse in the quiet was precious as He reminded me once again the meaning of my consecration to Him.  The liturgy as celebrated by the hermits was another pearl.  The slow rhythm of reciting the Office, the 20 minutes contemplative prayer after Holy Communion (to replace the homily) and the daily Hourly Eucharistic Adoration, were all means of finding God again.  It's funny I just said that.  Solitude retreat is really not about us finding God, but God finding us!  In the busy schedule of our lives we somehow "get lost."  St. John of the Cross said: "If a soul is looking for God, the more God is looking for the soul."  There is so much more to shar but this will suffice for now.  The secrets of the King is better enjoyed in the silence of one's heart.
Enjoy some of the photos!

   

(article also posted on "Mount Carmel" blog)

Our Lady of Ephesus

My brother went on a pilgrimage to Ephesus last May and came back with this gift of a tapestry of Our Lady of Ephesus.  I just love this picture of Mary!  She reminds me so much in this picture of Our Lady of Mount Carmel.  I always feel so happy everytime I consider that I was born on the feast of the Dedication of the Basilica of Saint Mary Major on August 5th.  The basilica was erected to honor the Motherhood of Mary which was debated and solidified in the Council of Ephesus in 431.  Among the many attributes of Mary, her titles of Mother of God and Virgo Fidelis, always appealed most to me. There is such tenderness in this picture: Mary pointing us to her Son and the Child Jesus pointing us to his mother.  Such bond of mutual love.  In the picture of 'La bruna" found below is the original painting which later became known as Our Lady of Mount Carmel.

the Child Jesus is lovingly holding the face of his Mother and pressing his face to hers.  Such testament of love for a woman who loved Him to the end.  Mary was traditionally believed to accompany St. John the Apostle to Ephesus after Jesus ascended to heaven.  In Ephesus, Mary spent her life in silence and prayer until the time when she in her turn joined Jesus as depicted in her "Dormition" or falling asleep.  Mary's House was mentioned by the visionary Venerable Anne Catherine Emmerich in her book and later discovered in an excavation.

Mary of Ephesus is a testament of the earthly presence of our Lady and the joy awaiting us in heaven when we get to see her, face to face!

God Is Good

I could not help but be grateful for all God had given me.  Aside from my own family living in California (and siblings in the Philippines), I also have a family living in New Jersey.  I spend most of my free times with my adopted Dad and brother.  My acquiring them was really providential and I hope they love me as much as I love them.  It reminds me of the words of Jesus pertaining those who leave all to follow Him, how they would receive mothers, fathers, homes (and persecutions besides) even in this world.   I have known them for 17 years and that is incredible since I have never kept a relationship that long with anyone except my own family!  With Father's Day just a couple of days away, I am grateful for having two Dads to celebrate!  Family is a great gift from God who is Himself a family in the Trinity.

Nice Lady!

I was with another Sister at the doctor's office waiting area when a lady came up to us and said: "excuse me, what Order are you?"  After responding to her question, she proceeded to talk with a twinkle in her eye,"I am so pleased to see you here today, Sisters!  I love your habits. I'm glad you still have it on."  I wasn't sure if she was thinking of leaving us or staying on the chair next to me.  But when she finally left, I turned to Sister and said,"What a friendly lady that was!"
I was thinking to myself in humility how powerful a witness the holy habit is.  How it reminds people of God and how it reminds us of how much responsibility we have of living up to what it symbolizes.  I hope that our presence in that office brought God to that woman's life.  "Lord, make me an instrument of your love." (St. Francis).

It's a jungle out here!

At supper, one of the Sisters mentioned, that a bobcat has been spotted in our convent property! A bobcat! I thought they live in the wilds but Germantown, New York is I guess as good as anywhere else.  We do have plenty of deer around here and maybe the cat was looking for a good meal.  I know for certain and  have seen coyotes, foxes, buffaloes and lamas in places around us.  We started with a dozen ducks here and now we are down to just two.  Despite the electric fence around the pond, the predators were still able to get to these poor ducks.  One day, I was taking a walk and saw this beautiful sight of a duck cuddled up in a flower pot:

I think this particular duck is no longer with us since this incident happened a few months back.  We have a Sister who faithfully cares for these ducks but unfortunately the foxes manage to still get to them.  We finally installed the electric fence.  So let's hope for the best for the two survivors.

Body And Blood

Spiritual Direction

Spiritual Direction is a very important aspect of growing in our spiritual life.  It is a great gift to receive because spiritual directors are hard to come by.  I met with my spiritual director today.  It helps that he is also a Carmelite.  Not that he has to be one but it is a big help to discuss matters which are common to both of us such as prayer life, community life and ministry, and to be able to offer advice according to our Carmelite way of life and spirituality.    It is a misconception to think that a spiritual director has to be a priest.  Anyone with sufficient maturity, experience and spirituality can guide souls in their journey.  St. Teresa of Avila recommends that director be learned and experienced.  But when pushed to choose, the Saint would prefer learning to experience.  She means in this that a sound theological foundation in a director is very important in the guidance of souls.  The devil can disguise himself under the color of good and when the temptations get to be so subtle, a "learned" director should be able to fall back on sound doctrine to give an advice.  Experience is also important because often times a lesson is driven by deriving points of reference from one's experience.  It also helps in sympathizing with others and understanding better the struggles of others.  It is very hard to find a spiritual director according to the standards of St. Teresa, but not impossible to find them.  I,  for one prefers a priest,  because he also serves as my confessor.  Ask God for a really good spiritual director to come your way.  It is a great help in our journey in the spiritual life.  Even though God can impart his grace without the help of a human being, he does not often do so.  God has entered our world and time zone through the Incarnation, and more often than not uses people to show us the way.